The 15 Stages of the Office Christmas Party

1. The invites are sent out and it starts with a promise that this year, you will be civilized.

2. The first bottle of fizz is opened as you finish up your work. You only have a small glass and proudly tell everyone that this year you will pace yourself.

3. You squeeze into your dress in a teeny toilet cubicle and attempt to do your make-up under the awful fluorescent lights.

4. Arrive, fashionably late of course and take selfies with the squad.  Helen from HR has an excellent pout.

5. Free bar!

6. You make friends with someone who swears they’ve worked here for years, but you’re 99% sure you’ve never seen them before. You are now best friends and plan a lunch date for next week.

7. The prosecco runs out, so you switch to white wine. You are sure it will be fine, you had a big salad for lunch.

8. The office ‘almost-a-couple’ start moving closer to each other.

9. You spot the canapes and attempt to soak up the alcohol. How many sliders count as a full burger?

10. The ‘almost-a-couple’  are now clearly a thing. You start to wonder if you will ever find love. Could Gavin from IT be the one?

11. Your plan to not embarrass yourself fails after you hit the dancefloor, you just can’t help it when Mariah comes on.

12. Someone shouts ‘TEQUILA’. The rest of the night is a blur.

13. You wake up the next morning with a 5 minute long snapchat story, a headache and a random Christmas hat in your clutch bag.

14. You make it out of bed and manage to crawl into the office with a coffee the size of your head.

15. Decide it’s time to pack up and move to Australia after the 5th video of your dance routine is send round the office.

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I work in the ecommerce team for Simply Be’s sister brand, JD Williams . When I am not in the office I can usually be found at the cinema or at the local pub enjoying a drink or two. My favourite way to relax at home is a long bubble bath with a good book or binge watching a boxset.

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